it’s not fake! it’s just predetermined!—quoth every wrestler
what does it mean to be fake? to be unreal? to live inside a different and brighter world, where good and bad are clear and immediate?
yes, professional wrestling is fake. the match outcomes are predetermined, the characters one plays are not real, except that they sort of are, and professional wrestlers (hopefully, for the most part) are trying to make everything look as real as possible while minimizing the risk of injury and usually the risk of pain (some exceptions: certain things just hurt, but don’t run a risk of injury) as much as possible. as bret hart, our canadian icon and a shockingly excellent writer, once wrote: “to me there is something beautiful about a brotherhood of big, tough men who only pretend to hurt one another for a living instead of actually doing it. i came to appreciate that there is an art to it.”
while i resent mr. hart’s “big tough men” comment just a little bit, this is one of the most beautiful things about wrestling to me. it’s hard to feel anything but vibrant affection for others when you trust them with your life—when you develop a system unique to the two of you for communicating and moving within the ring (of course, there are broader, more complicated systems in place for what to do during a match, but i find every “bond” i’ve made with other folks i wrestle to be special and distinct)—when you slap each other or hit each other in the exact right spot, so it sort of hurts but also makes that perfect sound of flesh on flesh and both hitter and hittee look at each other like, “oh shit, that was perfect”.
there’s a word for the fake “reality” of wrestling—kayfabe. maintaining kayfabe was at one time a meticulous process—there was a time, once, when wrestling fans sort of believed that pro wrestling was a real sport, and those in the “biz” went to great lengths to maintain this illusion. but wrestling is BETTER than sports. we watch sports to see athleticism, to feel national pride (ew), and for the stories. but stories in real sports are incidental, and often anticlimactic—see here; the raptors championship win. in professional wrestling, the story is the whole point, and if you’re really good, every motion inside the ring helps tell the story. if you’re a tiny woman fighting a giant man, you’re going to use different moves than if you’re two people of about the same height and weight—and the “hero” and “villain” of the match is immediately apparent in such a david and goliath story.
i haven’t been into the ring in a few weeks due to a million stressy stupid life reasons, ugh ugh ugh—and i miss everyone like crazy. i’ll be back soon, feeling happy and sore with my merry band of fellow misfits, laughing and revelling in the sound of flesh hitting flesh.
ciao
the powerbomb princess 💋💪